(中英对照)你将会是一个好妈妈吗?

Will you be a good mother?
你将会是一个好妈妈吗?

Demystifying the maternal instinct
揭开母性本能的神秘面纱

What is the so-called "maternal instinct"?
所谓母性的本能是什么?

According to Elyse Rubenstein, a Philadelphia psychiatrist who counsels new mothers, the term refers to "an inborn tendency to want to protect and nurture one's offspring." Almost all mothers (human and animal alike) eventually come to feel this way after they have a child.
根据在费城给新母亲提供服务的精神科医生Elyse Rubenstein,这个名称指的是“一个想要保护和养育自己后代的本能”。几乎所有的母亲(人类和动物也一样)当她们有一个孩子之后,最终都会有这种感觉。

I was never a "baby person" before. Does that mean I'll be a bad mother?
我从前一直不是喜欢孩子的人。那意味着我将是一个不合格的母亲吗?

No, how you feel about babies before you have one isn't an accurate predictor of the kind of mother you'll become. "You don't have to be the type who fawns over babies," says Rubenstein. Once you give birth, it's a whole new ballgame, and feelings you never expected to have will surface as part of the process of becoming a parent.
不会的,在你有一个孩子之前你对孩子的感觉并不能够准确的预测你将成为怎么样的母亲。Rubenstein说,“你不必要是这种讨好孩子类型的人”。一旦你生了孩子,整个情形都会改变,作为变成父母的这个过程的一部分,这种你从来没有预料到的感觉会浮现出来。

Before San Jose resident Heidi Oliveri had her son, Brandon, she was a typical 22-year-old -- fun-loving, outgoing, career-minded, and definitely not the kind of person you'd describe as maternal.
San Jose 居民Heidi Oliveri 在有她的儿子Brandon之前,她是一个典型的22岁、爱闹、爱玩、事业心强,绝对不是你要描述的那种母性的人物。

"I was not a baby person," she says. "I never pictured myself having three kids, which I now do." But she's completely comfortable in her role as a mother. "Until you have your own, you really don't know what you'll be like," she says. "But once you have a baby, the maternal instinct just kicks in."
她说,“我不一个喜欢孩子的人”,“我从没想像我自己有三个孩子,而现在我却有三个小孩”不过她现对自己作为母亲的角色感觉很自在。她接着说,“在你有自己的孩子之前,你真的不知道你会成为什么样的人。“不过一旦你有一个孩子,这种母性的本能就被打开了。

What if I don't feel particularly maternal?
如果我不觉得我特别母性会怎么样?

The fact that you're worried about being "maternal" or a good mother in the first place shows that you're concerned about your baby. And that's a great start. Instead of worrying about whether you fulfill a requirement for parenthood that experts themselves don't even agree on, focus your energies on getting to know your baby. 一开始你就担心你的母性或者能够成为一个好母亲,这个事实就显示了你还是关心你的孩子。那是好的开始。如何满足作为父母这个角色的要求,即使专家他们自己也没取得一致的意见,与其担心这个,不如把你的精力集中放在了解你的孩子上。

"A large number of new mothers fear, in some way, that they don't quite make the grade because parenting doesn't come as naturally as they expected it would," says Rubenstein. But what counts just as much as those fuzzy feelings you're supposed to have for your baby is a combination of experience and education.
Rubenstein说,在某种程度上很多的新妈妈害怕,她们不是十分成功因为养育孩子不是她们期望那样天生就会的。不过你的经验和教育的结合和你对小孩那些模糊的感觉是一样重要。

The older your baby gets, and the more you get to know him, the more confident a parent you become. Heidi Oliveri agrees. The more she got to know Brandon, the more comfortable she felt about being a mother, a skill she thought she'd never master. "Like any relationship, this one takes time to grow," she says.
你的小孩子越大,你对他了解的越多,你就会成为一个更有自信的父母。Heidi Oliveri 同意这种说话。她对Brandon了解的越多,她就对作为一个母亲感到更自在,做母亲的这种技巧她曾经认为自己永远掌握不了。她接着说,和任何关系一样,这种亲子之间的关系需要花时间去培养。

Unless you feel an overwhelming, unrelenting resentment toward your baby, you'll soon grow into your new role as a mother and do the best you can (which is what most new parents do).
除非对你的孩子感觉到一种巨大的、不可缓和的怨恨,你将很快地适应作为母亲的这个新角色,尽你的全量去做到最好(大多数新父母都这么做)。

If you're continually feeling sad or angry, or if you ever feel you might hurt your baby, seek help immediately. Your doctor or midwife or your baby's pediatrician can refer you to a counselor trained to help new moms.
如果你持续地感到忧愁或生气,或者如果你感觉你可能伤害你的孩子,应该马上寻求帮助。你的医生或助产士或你孩子的儿科医师介绍你去咨询医生那里,这些咨询医生是受过专门的训练来帮助新母亲的。

Fact-checked by the BabyCenter Editorial Team and approved by our Medical Advisory Board.
 

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