双语阅读:工作场所调情 最新版能做的和不能做的

Workplace flirting: The new dos and don'ts
工作场所调情:最新版能做的和不能做的

By Margot Carmichael Lester

No doubt about it: Work is a place where romance blooms. And for good reason — it’s where many of us are spending most of our time. According to figures from global outplacement firm Challenger, Gray & Christmas, Inc., singles now represent 44 percent of the civilian workforce. That means it’s quite possible you could stumble into the break room one Monday morning and stumble onto your next sweetheart.
毫无疑问:工作是一个浪漫爱情盛开的地方。这是有原因的——这是我们很多人花费大部分时间的地方。根据全球职业介绍公司(Challenger Gray &Christmas)的数据,现在单身的人占文职工作人员的44%。那就意味着你可能在星期一早晨无意中进到休息室,就很可能会撞到你的下一个恋人。

But be forewarned: The romantic reality of office romance can read less like a steamy bodice-buster and more like a deposition in a sexual harassment suit. So for those of you intent on looking for that hot date in data processing, we asked experts — as well as some folks in the office trenches — for their best advice.
不过事先警告:办公室的浪漫现实读起来不像一件刺激的内衣,而更像一个在性骚扰诉讼中的证词。对于那些在做数据处理的同时还想找激情约会的那些人,我们要求专家以及在办公室战壕的摸爬滚打的一些人,提供他们最好的建议。

Check the handbook ASAP
尽快检查员工手册


“One man's flirtation can be one company's grounds for dismissal,” quips Russ Carr of St. Louis. “What's a guy to do?” Start by checking your company’s personnel manual or employee handbook to make sure there aren’t any regulations prohibiting office romances. When in doubt, err on the side of caution; ignorance of the law (or unintended consequences) is no excuse.
圣路易斯的Russ Carr俏皮的说:“一个男人的调情可能是一个公司解雇的理由。”“一个男人要做什么?”先检查你公司的人事手册或员工手册,去确定这儿没有任何规章制度禁止办公室恋爱。如果你有怀疑的时候,你宁愿出错在小心谨慎方面;法律的无知或无意识造成后果是不能宽恕的。


"What may be flirtation to you may be sexual harassment to someone else. We walk a very fine line between welcome and unwelcome behavior and that line moves all the time,” Carr says. Your best bet: If you’re carrying a torch, take it outside to the smoking area.
Carr说,对于你可能是挑情的事情,但对其他人可能是性骚扰。我们走的是在欢迎与不受欢迎的行为之间的一条很细的线,而且这条线一直在移动。你最好的赌注:如果你拿着一个火炬,就把它带在吸烟区。

Soft-pedal your approach
你的方法要低调


Even if there are no rules restricting your pursuing a romantic interest among the cubicles, don’t come on too strong or too direct. Instead, try these low-key ways to convey your interest, and gauge the response:
即使没有规章制度限制你在办公场所隔子间去追求一个浪漫的关系,也不能表现得太强悍或太直接。换言之,尝试用下面低调的方法去表达你的兴趣,然后评估你得到的回应:

• Engage in covert operations. “I’d go down to her cube and ask her for office supplies I didn't need just so I had an excuse to chat with her,” says Charles Leone of New York, who successfully turned the object of his office flirtation into his fiancée.
• 从事密秘行动。在纽约的Charles Leone成功地把他的办公室调情的对象变为他的未婚妻,他说:“我就会走到她的隔子间,然后问她要一些我并不需要的办公用品,只是为了有了一个借口和她聊天的”。

• Utilize group dynamics. There’s always safety in numbers, so use informal employee groups to your advantage. “Try to eat lunch around the same time as the person you’re interested in, along with others in a group,” suggests Craig Bailey of Hoboken. This gives you an opportunity to get to know each other casually.
• 借助群组动力。在人多的时候总归安全的,所以尽量多利用非正式的员工聚会。Hoboken的Craig Bailey建议,“设法和一群人包括你感兴趣的人在大约相同的时间去吃午餐”这是你去轻松地去了解彼此的一个机会。

Expand your market reach. If your ideal mate is on the company softball team, start bringing snacks and beverages to the games. And don’t forget to attend co-workers’ birthday parties, the company picnic or a casual happy hour between departments. The extra effort might pay off in happy hours with that certain someone.
• 扩展你的市场范围。如果你的理想伴侣正在公司的垒球队,就可以带一些点心和饮料观看比赛。同时不要忘记去参加同事的生日聚会、公司郊游或部门之间随意的放松活动。在放松活动中为某些人付出的额外努力很可能会让你得到回报。

Maintain productivity. “Don’t let your boss remind you of what you should be doing while you’re having a conversation with her,” counsels Jay DeWeese of Charlotte, N.C. Instead, “be very business-like when there are others around. It turns her on if she thinks you’re in control of your business.”
保证你的生产力。 北卡州Charlotte 市的Jay DeWeese建议:“当你和她正在交谈的时候,不要让你的老板提醒你应该要做什么。当这里有其他人在周围的时候,你应该是非常公事公办的,如果她认为你在掌控你的事业,就会让她激动。”

Know whether to climb the corporate ladder of love
知道自己是否要去爬这个爱情的公司阶梯

What about flirting with a boss or subordinate? “Don’t flirt above your pay grade unless they start it,” Carr says. “Don’t flirt under your pay grade unless they start it, and even then, be cautious.” Adds Mike Julianelle of Boston: “Flirting with your boss is all well and good until the other employees notice and start making kissy noises when you go into her office.”
跟老板或下级调情会怎么样?Carr说,“除非他们先主动,否则不要与薪水级别比你高的人调情”。波丝顿的Julinaelle Mike补充到,“ 除非他们先主动,否则不要与薪水级别低的人调情,即使是这样,还是要小心。当你进入她的办公室时直到其它员工注意到并开始对接吻发表意见,与你的老板调情关系不大,当别的员工注意到你和老板调情,而且当你每次走进他的办公室的时候,别的员工开始出亲吻的声音的时候,你的问题就大。”

All kidding — and kissy noises — aside, flirting your way up and down the corporate ladder usually isn’t a good idea, counsels Laurie Owyang, a human resources expert with Los Angeles-based Humanasaurus. “Even if you and a co-worker engage in consensual and welcome flirtation, another co-worker who witnesses it may be offended and you may have created a problem — third-party harassment,” she says. “Or the third party may feel slighted and perceive ‘sexual favoritism’.”
位于洛杉矶的Humanasaurus公司的一个人力资源专家Laurie Owyang 建议:“刚才说的那些亲吻的声音都是开玩的了,但是依靠调情提升或下降通常都不是一个好的想法。”她接着说:“即使你和你的同事从事双方都愿意而且都喜欢的调情,旁边看到的同事可能会产生反感,你可能已经产生一个问题——对第三方骚扰,或者第三方可能感觉被轻视而且产生’性偏袒’印象。

The bottom line? Finding love where you labor is never a lost cause. But only you can evaluate the market opportunity and determine if it provides a decent return on your investment.
这个底线是什么?在你工作地方寻找爱不是注定要失败的。但是只有你才能评估这个市场的机会,确定对你的投资有没有满意的回报。

Margot Carmichael Lester is one in a long line of Southern belles. Despite passing on the bustles and hoop skirts, she holds steadfastly to the Southern girl’s birthright of flirting. Read her latest advice on love and relationships here.
 

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1F kumiko001 2009-07-22 11:57:13

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